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[Dec. 10th, 2009|03:38 pm] |
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This thing is well pish. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 29th, 2009|04:45 pm] |
I bought a (very cheap) pair of leather gloves as part of my Halloween costume this year (which, by the way, is amazing).
However, I've been using them to test the theory that any car you drive, and by extension, you, are made cooler by wearing leather gloves.
It didn't work so well with my normal clothes. I looked more like a biker that had to give it all up for family reasons.
It does work very well with my smart work clothes, particularly my big black jacket. I feel a bit like Jason Statham in the 'Transporter' films, which is never a bad thing. This is all despite the fact that I drive a 1.2 Seat Ibiza. Badly. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 25th, 2009|08:47 pm] |
I have my car back. It has been serviced, and repaired, as there was a misfiring cylinder, and a wheel hub that wasn't....something or other.
This has cost me £372, so I can no longer afford to actually drive it anywhere (slight exaggeration)
At the moment, my car is sitting in the driveway, not being driven anywhere, which is exactly where it was when it was broken, however it is now quite clean.
In short, for all intents and purposes, I've just had the single most expensive car wash in human history.
For almost £400, I'd have expected to have been washed myself, by virgins. Sexy ones. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 23rd, 2009|11:05 am] |
I am very very tired. My chest hurts, and I feel like shit.
I'm also terrified of taking two days off in case something I've done days, or weeks ago, turns out to wrong and I'm not there to fix it.
This isn't healthy. I might be in the wrong game here. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 20th, 2009|10:37 pm] |
Every so often I have a 'I have nothing to say, and thus I am concerned, so I shall write an entry about how I am concerned about having nothing to say' entry.
I am hoping to God this isn't one of them, but I know in my heart that I'm heading further down that path with every keystroke.
With that in mind, I shall try to write about things that I am doing, instead of feeling. I shall try to have this one shining entry describe things that have actually happened, and not just things that have happened in my head.
[Edit: Before I do that, one thing. I would love to venture an opinion on something, anything, anything at all. Music, current affairs, politics, economics, lolcats, just anything. Trouble is, I always figure there's someone out there, someone that I know and like, who will have a much greater depth of knowledge on the subject and will expose me for the ignorant sheltered housepet that I am]
Things I have done.
1: Transport.
I bought a car. It is a Seat Ibiza, 1.2 Litre. I have named it 'Murderface', and it straddles the divide between 'Boy Racer' and 'Primary School Parent' quite nicely.
It is also currently broken, after three months. This isn't entirely awful, as it has reached 80,000 miles, and was due a service. At the moment there is a horrible noise coming from the engine as if I'm gunning it within an inch of its life all the time, when in fact I'm an infuriatingly slow driver these days, as petrol is expensive.
Long story short, it is headed to the Garage on Thursday for a long overdue Service, and repairs. I hope it drive like a fucking dream when I get it back, because I'll be too skint to do anything else.
2: Sports!
I've been back at Karate for a while, although I've missed a few sessions through sickness, injury, lack of car, alcohol, and Warcraft.
I look better, I feel better, I'm still alright at it, and improving after a few months mental block regarding moving sideways instead of getting hit.
That said, since I've been getting the car to work (which is 20 miles of motorway hell to the east), my fitness has actually gone down due to the sudden drop in the amount of walking I do. This is not enough to make me get the train again. I hate that spastic wagon.
3: Music.
I've joined a band. It's a metal band, but we seem to write more than our fair share of radio-friendly slowies. It's a bit like if Gary Barlow discovered a distortion pedal, and was unashamedly fond of Limp Bizkit, regardless of the fact that Limb Bizkit are shit.
I love Limp Bizkit.
4: Bitches!
I'm still with Fiona.
It's perfect and I have absolutely nothing to complain about. Not a thing. I even watch the X Factor for this woman.
We want to adopt a cat. We don't live together, and have no plans to do so, but we want a cat, called Sebastian.
5: I've stopped moaning.
That's not entirely true, but I'm a lot calmer, and a lot happier than most people would believe.
As an example, some guy at a party attempted to steal my bag, to steal booze with. Upon confronting the guy, he simply pretended not to know, and the asked what else was in my bag.
I didn't even hit him. I didn't even shout.
See, Zen right there. |
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| Bleeeeeehhhh |
[Aug. 24th, 2009|10:28 am] |
I'm not feeling well.
My head and neck are sore, and it thumps like a wanker's bass bin.
I'm also a bit tight chested.
Don't think it's swiners just yet, but we shall see. It feels more like a hangover, but I've not drunk since.....Thursday actually, but still, not enough to feel like crap on Friday let alone Monday.
Junk food and bed for me when I get home. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 18th, 2009|02:58 pm] |
God I hate Aerosmith.
Just putting it out there. |
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| Shades and the Standstill. |
[Aug. 14th, 2009|03:09 pm] |
Weather is dismal and grey.
Not enough natural light coming in.
Bit tired.
Stuck here for another hour and twenty minutes or so.
I would very much like to get home and relax quietly. In fact, it's days like this that make me really want a cat for low maintenance company. |
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| Things I do not enjoy. |
[Jul. 30th, 2009|09:20 am] |
I did not enjoy being woken by an almighty buzzing sound coming from the window at half six this morning.
I thought it was workmen, turned out to be a big bee. I am very scared of bees.
This is something I did not enjoy. |
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| Ow. |
[Jul. 23rd, 2009|11:24 am] |
It's never the day after Karate that I feel sore, it's the day after that.
My legs are heavy, and moving them requires more effort that should be required.
I have a big bruide on my arm, my back and ribs are punishing me for moving. They don't seem to believe that they should have to get out of bed, even if the rest of me does.
All of these are signs of a good practice. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 16th, 2009|11:29 am] |
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The canteen went on fire today, how cool is that? |
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| It's funny, because I largely detested my childhood. |
[Jul. 15th, 2009|04:38 pm] |
Clearly I watch far too much crap.
I'm uploading a feedback document for a training course called 'Sudden Death in the home'.
Instead of resoning that it's about the tragic loss of a loved one, I start imagining ninjas breaking through my living room window, and forming a circle while they patiently wait to attack me, one at a time.
I might need to get out more, and find those bloody ninjas. |
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| Cheerful :) |
[Jul. 14th, 2009|04:36 pm] |
thanks to the magic work of my Uncle, the dent in the car is much smaller.
There's still a crease, and a small dent left in the right front bumper, but considering the area the size of, and directly under my right headlight was caved in, I'll take this one as a win.
Also, the brake dust got power-washed off the front wheels, and now my brakes don't squeek, at least they've not so far. I'll get a proper power hose thingy and go over it again at some point. The discs have been scored a little apparently (the things I'm learning) but that wouldn't take too much to fix.
Fair bit of win going on then. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 10th, 2009|04:16 pm] |
'Please update my page. I'm not going to tell you where it is, and now I'm going away for three weeks'.
Yeah, best of fucking luck with that. |
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| Frequently Asked Questions to --------------- |
[Jul. 9th, 2009|03:48 pm] |
Q: Are you my Mum?
A: No, we're not your Mum. We are not going to do your job for you, and we are not making you any dinner either.
Q: Are you Psychic?
A: No, although I predict that you might expect us to update pages for you without actually telling us what page you want updated. I also predict you'll take a huff when asked to provide us with the information we need. Maybe I am psychic after all.
Q: Do you know every page on the Website off by heart?
A: Surprisingly no, I do not have an Encyclopedic knowledge of over 1000 pages to do with Falkirk Council. All I know off by heart are the lyrics to 'Uncle Fucker' from the South Park Movie soundtrack.
Q: Why have you not done my request yet.
A: There are multiple answers. For your convenience, I'll list them in order, with the most common answers at the top.
1: Because you never attached the document you wanted to update to your email. We did tell you, but you clearly never bother to actually read your emails.
2: We have done it. We sent a 'test' link that doesn't appear on the main site, but allows you to view the changes, but you never bothered to read that email either, did you?
3: You made the request twenty minutes ago. Sometimes we get busy. On the pro-forma we ask you to fill out when you want changes made (although you never ever do) you would see that we try to get changes done within a 48 hour time frame, but you never bothered to read that bit, did you?
Q: Why has my section been changed? I did not ask for it to be changed.
A: Again, there are a few reasons why this may be the case.
1: Yes you did, I have the email here, see? Stop trying to cover your mistakes by blaming us.
2: One of your subordinates asked for a request without running it by you.
3: Gremlins, like the film.
Q: Please update these twenty-something documents before you leave today.
A: Fuck off, you sent this at 4.00pm. I'm not staying late because you couldn't be arsed.
Q: Can I have a banner that floats accross the screen?
A: What are you, fucking five? No you may not, they look tacky as hell.
Q: Can you put a link to my section on the front page.
A: No. Your little patch on the website is not really that important, compared to, say, Swine Flu.
Q: Why does the text on the website look different to what I sent you.
A: My job is to make sure that the website conforms to certain standards. Sadly, your grasp of the English language would have shamed a todler. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 9th, 2009|11:56 am] |
How come my Nu Metal-ish (I may have added blastbeats) joke songs are coming out better than anything I put actual effort into?
Clearly this is the path laid out for me. It's late night shopping tonight too. I should buy some baggies, clearly. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 6th, 2009|12:01 pm] |
I am currently trying to convince myself that 'not having anything to really complain about', and 'not having anything to write about', are not the same thing.
I did see some cute rabbits hopping about outside my work, which balances out all the roadkill I have to avoid on the way here.
I also have a theory that Edward Cullen of 'Sparkly Gay Vampires' Twilight fame, is actually a giant peado. I will elaborate when I'm not at work, or I might get in trouble. |
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